I WANNA KILL MYSELF !!!!!

well...yesterday was Choo's celebration for her 21st bday...it seems like all of us have become more matured and grown over time...

BUT I STILL WANNA KILL MYSELF!!!! i have grown so much fatter when i see the photoz..oh no...no more junk food...no more snacks...no more oily stuff...just simple diet for me...if not...I WILL REALLY KILL MYSELF!!!!...now i cannot find bf or get married liaoz!!!!

haiz...so sad..how come all my sisters like tat....yet i am like tat...xianz big time...haiz...


anyway...yesterday...many hildians came...and i long time never see most of them liaoz..and guess wat...i never knew ChunLong was his 3rd year's classmate...so shock...was wondering how come ChunLong never see me waiting for him outside the lab before...

you all must be thinking how come i put this photo of Marilyn Monroe in my blog rite...it's because i read this article this morning in Sunday Times and the following was wat she told the doc or friend i think...

"It's different with Arthur. Marrying him was my mistake, not his. He couldn't give me the attention, warmth and affection I need. It's not in his nature."

this sentence woke me up...and made me realised many things that have been happening in my life...i realised...i have to accept watever is going on...but was still feeling awful when i wasn't given a chance to accept and adapt...

last nite when i took a cab back with my friends...i never felt such sweetness that turns to bitterness then to tears...he actually directed the taxi uncle to my place...i was like...shocked.. he has never done tat till yesterday...but everything was too late...i can't turn back the time and i couldn't start the time...